The Cries of the Everburning Phoenix

I Write Sins Not Tragedies.

2006-12-06T15:38:00.000-08:00

Oh, well imagine: as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:"What a beautiful wedding, what a beautiful wedding!" says the bride's maid to a waiter.
"Yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God'damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God'damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of oh

Well, I've been away for quite some time.. Computer's still dead, my mind's set free to the point there really isn't one, yet still I manage to keep the drama. Yes, yes. I know there's far too much drama for Mari. But life still goes on.. And on... And on... Whatever. People are weird. I hve to fix or help fix a lot of problems for people. But. I am not complaining, it's worth it to watch someone smile for the first time in months. It's a good thing to help out. Well, at least I believe so. Yet all the same, I have very little time. Au Revoi!

-Solin

Well in fact well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved!
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne!
Oh! Well in fact well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved! Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne!

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God' damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God'damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.......

Again...

I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God'damn door?!no"
It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the God'damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality......

Agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

Hate Me, By Blue October.

2006-10-13T15:53:00.001-07:00

I'd find the lyrics like usual, but I have no time for that. Thought I'd post and say I'm doing fine, just have a dead computer and I sleep a lot more now. ^^; Well, the computer's about to boot me off, Ciao!

-Solin

Hate Me, By Blue October.

2006-10-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is something I posted somewhere else.

2006-05-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

For once, here's Mari's experiences, for the world to see.
I want to start this off on the right foot. On why Mari wants to explain. http://driftingabout.blogspot.com/ If you take that link, you can see my best friend's little brother, explaining in his own words his surgery. He had a tumor growing around his ear and wht it did is explained by his mom below. But my side on this is that as you may all know, I love my friends to death. M-Boy has a sort of mental thing, autism, he has the mind of someone younge than him. It breaks my heart that he had to do the surgery. He's a bloody genius in math too. I mean he's like far surpassed Mari here and probably you guys. He's a genius to tuning intruments. I love him like a brother, and even though I do fight with them. If anybody messes with my family. This blondie will forget pacifism and kill them. No one messes with my brothers. No one messes with my friends. But I'm protective of my brothers due to the facts of the pain we've been through.
As my friends and each holding a piece of my heart ( And Soul.) I thought I should let you all know a little more about me. I'll go from beginning to end. I was born in Conroe Texas. Then we moved to Mississippi and Kenith was born. Then we move to California and lived there a little while, sometimes on the streets, but I dont remember much of it. Then we moved away from my father and into my uncle's home where Sean was born. We moved from Deer Park to Pasadena, then into Houston, where my pain began. We lived with my mom and beforehnd. She used to take us out with her when she recited poetry, we met awesome peopl. We never had much money, but she always tried to make us happy. When we first moved to Houston, I ent to school and no one truly liked me. I was gradually picked on more and more. All the kids mking up rumors about me, some as stupid and untrue as having lice and other things. My mother began to fall into an addiction with weed and she started having these people around all the time. I'd protest, but all she would do was scream at me. At school I remember one time that I had run off into the coach's office and just cried. I was in fourth grade and couldnt express my pain. I was drawn into helpless pain. I gained my first friend when she moved to there. We grew on one another and it was us against the others. I was almost drawn into fights all the time for stupid reasons. I had my friends turn my back on me. My mother always screamed at me as she fell deeper into her addiction, and she had a boyfriend who was my father figure. she was gradually forcing him to stay. He never stayed for her, but for us. We were helpless to the people my mom had come over, so he spent time with us outside as my mom dealed with drugs. He taught me how to swim and always gave us hugs and compliments, he always played arounf with us to. If we asked for something like, 'Where's Wascol?(Our cat)" He would reply, "He was... Delicious." Just those little things kept us happy. Eventually my mom fell into worse states, she began to sell herself, in other words prositution, cheating on our only father figure. It hurt him soo badly. It was unbearable. He would be drawn into fits of rage and pain, not expressing it only by telling her off in manners that I wanted to. eventually she began to use us to kep him there. He developed a drinking issue because of my moms damned activities. Eventually he left. she would be screaming and crying for him. not understanding why. she drove all the way to his house and waited with uss so force him out, to try and take him home again. We went often and sat out there at night, slept in the car most of the time. Listening to her cry. Listening o her wanting the one she hurt so badly. Eventually she just fell into drugs worse, and we were left to fend for ourselves. My brothers continued to be picked on and I stood up for them, always being emotionally shattered and sometimes just struck. I could never fight back. Anger pulsed through me and I always took my anger out on my brothers. My mom always yelled at me, telling me I was worthless, that I was a bitch. She kicked me out plenty of times. I just hung out on this area close to the roof, where she couldnt get me and I cried. I cried so much then. I couldnt strike her even though she struck me. she has this muscle disease that is similiar to artheritus, but to her muscles. I started staying out late, as far from her as I could. Yet I always had to come back. I had no where to go. Eventually my only friend moved and I made a couple others, one including John, who ended up liking me. I always screamed at him a fought verbal battles with him. I made him angry soo often.. I couldnt help it. I kept shattering further. I was lashing at the only people I had, my friends, my family. I was always in tears. I was always trying not to hurt anyone even though I needed to express my anger. So I just cried in my room. Listening to the drunk guys that always came over. Listening to my mom sell herself. Listening to my brothers expressing frustration and helplessness. I had to play the part of mom, when I was beyond emotionally unstable. I did what I could. I was almost raped. I had been sleeping on my bed, one of the few times I ever could, and one of the guys my mom knew broke in, beat up the guy she had watching us and came into my room an fell on me. He was drunk and felt up on me, I was scared into silence and tried to pull away, curling into a ball in the corner of my bed just short from crying. eventually he left and didn't do anythin further. My mom said she was sorry. Said that it would happen again. It didn't, because her friends merely had children that were older than me. They always picked on me and helped make my life even more of a living hell. I considered suicide, but I couldn't do it because my brothers needed me. once I told that to my friend Amethyst, who's in Kansas now, she made me promise I wouldn't. She told me that if I did, she would never forgive me, and so I didn't. I eventually began spending more time with her. I was half starved all the time, since my mother stole our money to buy her drugs and never fed us. I grew on her family, I had been welcomed to honestly and actualy experienced the family love I had been lacking. My mother had the knack of making me ask my uncle for money. I couldn't stand doing that, so I just never did and was screamed at for hours on end. I hapened to stop sleeping constantly because my mom's friends and the fact she promised me the computer and never let me on. "I promise, just one more hour.." I became sleep deprived, and was from sixth grade until the middle of eigth grade. My uncle found out and took us in. He wouldnt let my mom have us back and eventually took her to court for us. He became our guardian. She eventually began liking this one guy who beat her, so my uncle would make me see my mom and make sure he wasnt there. Everytime I told my uncle the guy wasnt there. He didnt believe me and thought I was lying, he sent Sean in instead. when Sean came back with the same news he would just say we shouldnt lie to him and we would leave. When I protested he only made me feel like shit, to say so the least. the first couple of nights at my uncle's house my little brother, Sean, stayed up at night crying. He wanted my mother. He wanted his mother. I eventually broke down too. He was young, too young to understand what Mommy was doing wronge.. I had to go to memorial and leave ALL of my friends behind. I was desperate and in pain when I first came. For almost all first semester I was wishing I could redo 8th grade. I missed Amethyst. I missed my friends and I was going to a school full of rich kids. We've spent almost a year and a half here and now things are like this. I'm now at the right weight. I'm still emotionally unstable, but I'm much better. I get yelled at a lot, but thats just because i'm me. What's bothering me now is the fact that my uncle always lets Kenith go out and do things until Midnight, Two or One AM. And I've come home at midnight once. and it was the end of the world. They keep on screaming at me for being a failure. I have my uncle over my shoulder telling me I'm going to be a Freshman next year. I have my aunt over the other telling me that everything I do is wronge and Needs to be corrected. I also have people hitting on me. Its kind of scary. I think I began to shake because of my emotional pain. I dunno. But That's most of Mari's screwed up life.

The letter R.

2006-05-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I asked for the letter so I could have a post, God help me.

1. Rose: I'm absolutely in love with roses. I don't know why, their my favorite flowers. They are just tought to beat. The red ones are absolutely unresistable. I think I've finally become a girl.

2. Red: The color of blood. No, not really. I've just fallen in love with the color. Yet only the deep shades. and no, this Does Not Include Pink. I'm sorry. I'm not a pink person, bear with me.

3. Rosaline: May be spelt differently, but she's the first person Romeo falls in love with in the tragedy of Romeo an dJuliet. I've made a character sheet for the name, character is pretty neat.

4. Rascal: I am so a rascal. And I know there's no way that you would disagree with me, mum. The stuff I get myself into, the mischief I cause. I've dubbed myself the adjective.

5. Risky: I dont think I have done anything in my life that wasn't risky, save for go to the bathrrom, eat, and sleep. Other than that, there are decisions that either have a good or bad ending.

6. Ravishing: This is an awsome word. 'You look Ravishing today.' I'd so love to hear that. And God knows I will once I end up in Kansas. (Which I will try to make happen if my grades dont agree with me. I have a plan.)

7. Revived: I have revived my childhood. I've just been letting the reins too loose. I'm giggly at times. But it eventually ends up that I want to scream. Would've never guessed.. But yes, by all means, I'm Revived, emotionally, and Spiritually.

8. Racing: I'm racing my life away. I swear. I'm already 15. everythin is a race, to end the school year, to go to Kansas, get better grades..

9. Rescued: Yes. Mum had rescued me from my painful states of mind, my underfed-ness. and MauMau really helped me emotionally. Look, she's been in Kansas forever now, and I still keep her up at night! ;)

10.Raised: I never really was raised by anyone in specific, yet everyone's rubbed off on me. I'm even gooing as far to the soothing music I happen to be listening too. It all rubs off. So basically, evryone has raised me, even You Mum, and yes, my dearest MauMau.

"When I come around"

2006-04-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

I heard you crying loud,
all the way across town
You've been searching for that someone,
and it's me out on the prowl
As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself
Don't get lonely now
And dry your whining eyes
I'm just roaming for the moment
Sleazin' my back yard so don't get so uptight
you been thinking about ditching me

No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I'll be found
When I come around

Love has been the subject of my mind. I absolutely believe I'm going to go insane too. I think strongly of love. I asked a few friends their thoughts on love, this friend of mine, Jeremy, said the special one you love should be caring, willing to do anything for you and merely to be there for you. The others I asked looked at me like I was an idiot trying to ask them directions in my own little language. Save for one person. He told me that love was merely hormones. He said it was Only attraction. I took that rather harshly, for I believe the subject of love to have much more depth to it. I can’t really express my thoughts on love merely because one of the few emotions I haven’t experienced full force, is Love. Yet regardless that, I manage to have such a high respect for it. Well, with all my little problems at mind, I’ll go. Vale.

I heard it all before
So don't knock down my door
I'm a loser and a user so I don't need no accuser
to try and slag me down because I know you're right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out that your self-doubt means nothing
was ever there

You can't go forcing something if it's just
not right
No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I'll be found
When I come around
When I come around

No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I'll be found
When I come around
When I come around
When I come around
When I come around

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

2006-04-09T17:27:00.000-07:00

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

There's always a time when one finds themself strapped defenseless to certain things. A major.. Soft spot, so to say. I think I have two. Both of them I just cant escape. One would be my mother all on her lonesome. and my dreams. I think I've forgotten to put up here that I haven't been able to sleep peacefully. I've had horrible dreams that wake me during the night and keep me unable to sleep a while. I wake up at least three times a night, at certain times and whatnot. my aunt says I'm not sleeping right because I'm a kidm, but I think it's something else? I don't really know, I've just not been able to sleep right lately. xX I'm actually fairly tired now and can't think of anythign to say, so I'll let you go. ^^ Vale.

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

Just feeling like the days are sitting on my shoulders, they weigh a lot.

2006-03-25T18:32:00.000-08:00

My mood has really had a drop within the past few hours. To add to my self-conscious nature, Kenith, my brother, said I was weak-minded, and weak-hearted. And that's because I wouldn't hurt him for messing with me. Can I be blamed because I don't want to be the cause of other people's pains? I just can't bring myself up to it anymore. Also, after that, he managed to further my anger, and still I couldn't do anything, to add to my feelings of helplessness, he said, "Yeah, bottle your anger." I felt absolutely horrible because of that, and he said that in the middle of Service at church. so I could do absolutely nothing. On the way home from church, my neighbor, Miss Charlotte, called my uncle and I got to tell her my F in Grography had been raised to an A. I had four A's, one B, and two C's. The A's are in Math, Geography, Study Hall, and Gym. The B is in English. The C's are in Biology and Latin. She told me that if I manage to raise all my grades to A's, that she will take me to Galveston. I already know my geography and english grades have dropped, so I feel a bit guilty about that. Gah, the day has managed to work against me today. I don't know.

Yeah.

2006-03-22T16:21:00.000-08:00

I wasn't home yesterday in time to get on, went to a friends place to watch movies until 8. Great to know I'm still all paid attention to. ^^ although I do happen to fail to post every now and then, mainly every now. >> Love you mum! Vale.

Meh.

2006-03-18T13:21:00.000-08:00

I have to let this kid down, he likes me, but the feeling isn't mutual. To think, solin of all people to be afraid of hurting someone. Well, I have become a sort of pacifist lately. Alright, I've gone pacifist. x.x I don't have much to say, and should start posting more when my thoughts are in line with one another. Vale.

Back.

2006-03-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I've been gone some time. not that I lost intest, but a few weeks the computer was down, and I haven't been able to think of anything to complain about. even now, I have half of an idea what my topic will be. Well, I lost a little interest, but mum got me to look through some things and well, this got me to smile. Vale.

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:
You value loyalty highly.You're completely devoted to your friends and family.Even if they totally screw up, you're still there for them.Just make sure they're equally loyal to you!
Honesty:
You value honesty highly.You're unflinchingly honest, even when it's not easy.For you, integrity is very important - in yourself and others.People may not always like what you say, but they know they can trust it.
Generosity:
You value generosity a fair amount.You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!
Humility:
You value humility highly.You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.
Tolerance:
You value tolerance highly.Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

Those days only continue..

2006-01-24T16:07:00.000-08:00

you know, I'd expect to not be in such a dampened mood even though I just spoke once about my mother. The girls were talking about where they get clother and asked me where I went, I said that my uncle or aunt chose mine. Then they asked why I live with my aunt and uncle.. I said it was because I was taken from my mother about a year ago. They asked why and I fell silent. All that slipped m,y mind would be scenes of my mom getting drugs, or the people she had over, or even just her. There's my one weak point, my mother. A few days ago she called us and said she's been 'trying to get into the hospitals' and they wouldn't let her. I know she was lieing. My uncle said she must've been high or something. she wanted to go to some place for women with violence issues or something. Well, that's what she said. there's a thing about her though, she says a whole lot of things, but not even half of it's the least bit true. She's the reason for my shattered lifestyle, my swift track or thought and my forever lasting suspiscions. Oh, I could blame her for A LOT of things. but no matter what, she'll be my mother. I can't help but to love her. It's strained, I can barely stand to hear her speak to me, candy coating things, throwing her troubles into my arms. The only thing we did was argue, long miserable hours of arguing. Perhaps she'd strike at me, but I'm weak to the point I can't fight back, like an unwilling sense of pacism. In the face of danger, I never strike back, I can be beaten down and I wont fight back. Most of the time it's for my friends, since I don't stand up for myself. But my mother has this disease so she has artheritus, but in her muscles. So she can't strike with any force. I'll continue later, I have to go, for now.

Those days.

2006-01-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

I'm not the only one that feels as if I have been stepped on and left to suffer. Am I? I probably am, but we all have our times, I suppose. My mood has been spiraling downward all day today. I have to babysit for five hours tonight as well. Since I get paid ten bucks the hours, I would have earned just about fifty, which is pretty good. Tomorrow I go to church at about four or so, a friend of mine might actually make it, for once. My little brother, Sean's birthday was this Wednesday. He's eleven now. He's going somewhere with my uncle and aunt when I go with the older of my younger brothers to church. As for my mood.. Only God knows how it's going to change. It's been falling rapidly, gaining ground then being slammed into, sent spiraling back down. Or like a large sheet of glass that's being tapped with a needle, then pin, then all of a sudden being struck with a hammer, shattering it completely. Then slowly, the peices are brought together, but only when it's been fixed a good deal does someone comes and kick it, watching and laughing as each and every hard-worked piece falls to the ground. Perhaps my exaggeration is too small? How about this one.. Like a small, tiny bird finally saying that it will decide to fly out of the nest and takes off, the wind is felt gliding under it's wings before it's stricken by another, left to slowly twirl as it falls, the grace of flight slammed from it. It falls, stricking the ground, only to have it's life ended in the more powerful maw of a large cat. A poet's lovely underminded gift of exaggeration. Vale.

This is a quickie.

2006-01-19T16:25:00.000-08:00

I'm typing this when I have to go. x.X Well, I have a virus on my computer and it's beginning to be a pain. I don't remember quite what it is, or even know. But it managed to get me angry. But I have to go. Vale. Until next.

'If love is a labor, I'll slave to the end..'

2006-01-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know. I've been really lazy lately and I've had my thoughts on love, merey because we are reading Romeo and Juliet in my English class. The title's from a song, I just don't know the name or band. And is it only me that notices all the sharp objects that come in manicure sets? I mean, really now. I'm in a mellow-ish mood, which means I can go happy or not so happy. I'm more in the mood to.. Let things act if they will, to like stand and watch what happens and if I feel I should act, I will. I'm still feeling a bit out of place in school, my grades are still suffering as well. I had this argument with someone who was my friend, she told me I ruined her life, used her, stole her food, and was a negative influence. I do not understand how she could come with the idea that I ruined her life, since I did manage to get into fistfights, on her behalf. The thing with me and fighting is that, no matter what, even if I am hit, I never retaliate, I don't hit back. So I basically got pummeled. I don't even have the slightest idea how I could have possible used her. Well, for the food thing, I never stole anything. It's just that my mother found better uses for any money she got, or we did. she would buy herself a snack, or get more drugs for herself. so, since we were half starved, we asked her for food and stuff. As for the negative influence, I really don't think I am that bad of one. Even back then. I hold most of my older standards still, and I seem to be dooing a deal of pretty good things. Well, she probably got it from her father anyways, since he did, afterall despise me and those who I kept around. Although, I did think I was getting to his better side.. I guess not. I don't know how to look upon the subject too well, any insights? I'm stumped and that's probabky the dampener to my current mood. It doesn't help that the last thing I said to her was to shut up and leave me alone. Well, this was much longer than I thought it would be. Vale.

I have a good explanation..

2006-01-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

I actually forgot about the blog until now. It must sound soo awful. >.> I've just had nothing to complain about, save for a few cases of homesickness. I forgot to fetch a CD so I'm playing lazy instead of fetching it, I should post more regularly with my complaints soon enough. ^^ Okay, this is really short, and I know, but seeya! Vale!

"Stellar"

2005-12-23T12:45:00.001-08:00

"Meet me in outer space.
WE could spend the night;
Watch the earth come up.
I've grown tired of that place;
Won't you caome with me?
WE could start again.
How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do.
How do you do it?

It's better than I ever knew.
Meet me in outer space.
I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way that I can show you how it feels to be inside of you."

Incubus, favorite band, by the way. okay, to start off.. I'm sorry for not posting lately, just haven't all.. Felt like it. not saying I was in a bad mood or anything, just that my heart wasn't quite up to it. But I'm back. My birthday was the 16th of December, I would be 15 now. I got my mother 50$ worth of art supplies for Christmas. Ken-san paid about half, as did I. That so half of the cash I had on me. I have twenty-two bucks now. My uncle owes me forty-one. ^_^ just got paid ten. >.> That makes me at an amazing.. 66$ Neat. Umm, okay. I've been all shifty in my moods, kinda weird. Not really in one mood long before someone sparks a different one. X.x Yeah, I lost the whole point of typing this, so I'll end my rambling. Ta!

"How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do.
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew.
You are a stellar."

"Incomeplete"

2005-12-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

"He's washing his face to start his day,
He's lonely, lonely, lonely,
Nothing in the mirror ever shows him what's within.

Now he's checking out the faces,
On the back of the milk,
He's sour under all this pressure,
He thiks the missing person looks an awful lot like him.

And he starts his engine,
but he knows that he's missing gears."

Switchfoot. I've been using Switchfoot only because it came in a three CD set, and it's what I've been picking up. Lol. I just skim through song titled until I find what seems to stand out for me, then I look over the lyrics and if they seem pretty good I post them. Simple really. I haven't even heard some of the songs in forever - But I have heard them, none-the-less. Way back then and whatnot. Finally, I'm in a good mood. It only took, you know.. a few weeks before I could honestly laugh and mean it. Although I was REALLY jumpy at church, I nearly died of a heart attack from jumping pretty badly playing ping pong, the ball hit the center of my chest, really hard. Those little ping pong balls really hurt, especially when they hit your forehead at a decent speed. It was a little akward since I let down one of my friends when he said he liked me, during the big church thing, he wouldn't speak to me and went all the way to the opposite side of the room, I felt pretty awful. After a while he played ping pong with me, and seemed to not be bothered about it anymore - Which is good. I can't wait to go up to Kansas. I get to finally see Snow, and meet up with my 'family' again. ^^ I already have one present for one of them, I just need.. Seven more. I'm going to the dollar store for those. = ) I can't afford seven more items like what I got Mousie. I spent about nine bucks while my little brother spent about seven, on the same gift. Mousie'll love what we got her. I'm posting pretty late, and I have no idea why. Just felt like posting I s'pose. Heh, well, it's great to be all giddy inside, to giggle for no reason and smile alot. I am unbelievably happy, and it feels great. Well, I'll be going now. Oh, and Salve does NOT mean Goodbye, it means Hello. ^^

"Incomeplete!
Where will you find yourself?
Incomeplete!
Where will you find yourself?
(Where will you lose yourself?)
'Cause you're the missing person now,
Step outside your doubt,
And let yourself be found!

He's sick of the race to just save face,
He's tied and tried, he's sick and tired,
He's tired of the holes that are keeping him incomplete.

He'll push the pedal to the floor,
Like the day before,
He's trying to be always trying,
Try to find an end to justify his means."

"Living is simple"

2005-12-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

"Living is simple,
It's gravity,
Gravity isn't so hard,
Living is simple,
It's entropy,
Entropy, falling apart,
I'm falling apart again.

Living is simple,
And breathing is easy,
It's easy to do,
Living is simple,
And losing is easy.

I'm losing my cool,
I'm losing my cool again."

Switchfoot. My grades are rather low, I'm pretty much struggling to not fail the classes I want to keep. My schedule changes next semester as well. It's not that I am having trouble in the classes, it's just that I'm not doing homework. I know I should, but I don't have the will to do it as I used to, there's no flare. I could even be interested in the stuff and it would be the same. Finals are next week, 20% of my grade in each class. They shouldn't be that hard, only about 200 questions on each one. I study with the neighbor tomorrow. Because my grades are so low, they think something's wrong with me, emotionally. The neighbor told me I was hiding something and that I should tell someone. Okay, maybe I am hiding something, something is wrong to. Btu sadly enough. I don't know what it is. I should be happy, I'm in better conditions than before. Yet for some reason the only reason I can be happy is to bluff. Call a fake of the cards, fake it. Whatever term I must use, I just want to know what ti is that is eating away at me. The neighbor will probably try to get something out of me. she also said I could change schools if I wanted to. But I'm not going to, I have made a few freinds I would rather not leave. Well, there goes my ranting for the day. Oh, and I don't tend to open up and ask many people about things, only because I happen to be the one always asked while no one will listen to what I have to say. Ciao.

" ' All will be made well,
Will be made well,
Will be made well,
Will be well.'

Is this fiction?
Is this fiction?
Hope has given himself to the worst,
Is this fiction or divine comedy?
Where the last of the last finish first,
Living is simple.

Living is dying,
Your mercy, Your mercy,
Is how I believe,
Living is dying,
I can't understand it,
I'm down on my knees,
Confessing my needs again.

I've had my choices,
I've chosen today,
I've had my choices,
The choices remain."

"Burnout"

2005-12-06T15:14:00.000-08:00

"I declare I don't care no more,
I'm burning up and out and growing bored,
In my smoked out boring room,
My hair is shagging in my eyes,
Dragging my feet to hit the street tonight,
To drive allong these shit town lights,
I'm not growing up,
I'm just burning out,
And I stepped in line to walk amongst the dead."

Greenday. Bleh, my mood's still all of n' such, the only thing is I'm tired of it. I was home, sick yesterday. So I'm a bit behind in my classes already. I think I'm going to be kicked out og Pre-Ap Biology - My favorite class. Might fail Latin. And who knows what else. My luck's seemed to have run out. Only so long will I smile and nod before getting frustrated. A self-destruction sequency I guess. Who knows. I'm tired, have homework and am not exactly the happiest camper of them all. Whatever. Seeya.

"Apathy has rained on me,
Now I'm feeling like a soggy dream,
So close to drowning but I don't mind,
I've lived in this mental cave,
Throw emotions in the grave,
Hell, who needs them anyway."

A wonderful end to a horrible week.

2005-12-02T15:09:00.000-08:00

My week wasn't good for me. Hence why I haven't posed in a while. I haven't really been in the mood. But only so long can you stand to be pushed around in hallways, late to every class and be the one to apologize. Monday I was late to school. My uncle took forever to figure out he didn't have cash on him, then had to find a lost ATM card, we had to stop[ somewheer for him to get money, then I had to go out in the cold and buy something to get change, and I was late to my first period of class. I was late to every class that day. Next day my mood was horrible and up to today I nearly went to tears from being frustrated. Today I wasn't feeling well, but went to school anyway. In Gym I had to play basketball, but from playing my head hurt soo much my ears were painfully hurting, my vision was very blureed and I couldn't breathe properly. I might have some kind of asthma, sine I feel the worst at Gym. After gym my head still hurt, then my stomach, and after that I was very tired. But at the comepletely end of the day I was feeling better and was pretty much energized. I'm happy to just be able to relax. although for the weekend I have nothing to look forward for, same goes for the week. Wll, that's the end of my complaining for now. but I happen to have figured out how much I like Biology class. It really peaks my interest soo much, it's kind of funny. I thought English was my favorite, but I like boilogy much more. It just interests me. Well, I'm out.

Dead days.

2005-11-29T15:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm not in the good of a mood, but I thought I should still post. My day went pretty much badly for me, so it's left me in a bad-ish mood. That's as much as I can think to say. Ciao.

"Brain stew"

2005-11-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

"I'm having trouble trying to sleep,
I'm counting sheep but running out,
As time ticks by,
And I still try,
No rest for crosstops in my mind.

On my own... Here we go."

Greenday. the songs have been on my mind, even some Incubus songs. But I never really paif attention to how much impact a few songs can have on you. It's realy something. I've been up and down with my moods. Oh, don't forget spending Thanksgiving throwing up all day. but I'm better now. my little brother is still sick, and now my uncle is, the only who hasn't gotten sick is my aunt, and she's bound to get sick. Although, she is playing it safe. also, guess what? I'm back!! I have a new keyboard and mouse and they're working as fine as they can! ^^ Took less than a minute to do, but weeks to get new ones. Kind of funny. My birthday is only getting nearer, my fiends are going to make it. I'm soo anxious. ^^ Love you guys!

"My mind is set on overdrive,
The clock is laughing in my face,
A crooked spine,
My sense dulled,
Passed the point of delirium.

On my own... Here we go."

Okay, maybe I lied on the only Sunday thing..

2005-11-17T13:55:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. Since I can't get on too often, I just printed the wronge syllabus and vala. Okay, today's been good and bad, I can't really say why, simply because I can't tell anymore. Lo. I miss Rping, I guess only my friend would understand too. But I've been writing different things, wishing I had a keyboard I could use, instead of having to come over to the neighbor's house. I'm making more friends when I think about it. In about an hour and a half I am going to go meet up with a girl I met on the bus, and help her walk her dogs. She's older than me. Hm. As a mental note, I need to get Joey's birthday present. His birthday's on the 26th of December. I want to get him somethign good - Since we don't usually give him good stuff. I get to have a MAJOR birthday party on the 17th of December, the day after my birthday. I can invite whomever I so wish to! ^_^ It'll be fuun. How've you guys been? I know I have two people that comment, that'd be mum and Ryan, even Mike at time as well. But I'm curouis, I actually happen to be in a pretty good mood right now too, can't really wait for any sorts of comments either. ^^ Well, I'm out. Salve!

Nothing like blogging..

2005-11-13T15:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's clear, no songs for a while. I can't get online anymore, the keyboard isn't working now and my uncle can't buy a new one. And I just can't help but feeling pretty much good after seeing comments. Just the thing to brighten your mood, having friends. ^^ Yeah, might be corny or whatnot, but I just like that. I can post once a week until the keyboard gets fixed. Which, for me is kind of a bummer, I love the computer, but maybe it's time to use my time effeciantly. Or, get bored more quickly. Sorry for not being on in forever, and I probably can't comment on anyone's blog for a while, since I have little time online here. Oh, and by here, I mean my neighbor's house. I guess I'll end up posting.. Every Sunday, it seems. And that's only because I need the Syllabus for Latin. I've had amazing balance lately too. I mean, like we'll play with wooden swords, flails or whatnot, but I've gotten VERY good reflexes to not get hit. Well, I'm out. Until next. ^^

No song today either, because...

2005-11-02T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, let's start off with the fact I've adapted to the computer without the mouse, there's plenty I can't do, but I can get pretty far. I can click links with the Tab then Enter, switch screens with Alt then Tab. And scroll the page with arrow keys. What I have left to master is how to get those links that Tab doesn't pick up. Oh, and about Monday. We were driving to family friend's house. When, somehow, we start talking about what we want to be when we grow up. My brother's are clueless, but I finally managed to think of something. I want to be an author of a novel, a writer, basically. It took me forever to think of that too. My uncle didn't like the iea much, at all. I have it written down somewhere what he told me. But all in all, he said that all my mother had wanted to do was write, and look what happened to her. Well, at that given time, he didn't realise he had smashed the fragile existance of the peace I had, I went silent and looked out the window. I didn't say anything, but my thoughts were fired up, almost bringing me to tears, but I didn't cry. It take alot to get me to cry nowadays. Oh, I can't get a song since there's people working on the closet right now, they'v been here almost three hours now. I can't get in to find a CD that I want to get a song from. I also haven't gone to school since I get to make sure they're doing it right or something. It'd be nice to be able to do anything worth it online, bu I need the mouse, whatever. Ciao! {And no mum, no pink for me. ^_~}

No song - No time

2005-11-01T15:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, I don't have ANY time, but I am still posting. Makes me kinda loyal, eh? To those that haven't even been commenting. Anyway, I got angry last night, Halloween night too. I'll explain more later. But I'm doing fairly well and whatnot. 'Ntill next.

"Poprocks & Coke"

2005-10-31T14:41:00.000-08:00

"Wherever you go, you know I'll be there,
If you go far, you know I'll be there,
I'll go anywhere, So I'll see you there,
You place the name you know I'll be there,
You name the time you know I'll be there,
I'll go anywhere, So I'll see you there.

I don't care if you don't mind,
I'll be there not far behind,
I will dare, Keep in mind,
I'll be there for you.."

Greenday. ^^ Such a nice song. I'm extrordinarily happy right now too. I'm being the damsel in distress for Halloween. Oh, don't forget that it's raining too. But oh well, as long as I can have fun, who cares? Really. I'm am actually looking forward to seeing my mother. Y'know? You can't keep from family, that's not good. But yes, I'm going to have fun! I'm 14, and going Trick or Treating too. I am not too old, never can be too old to have fun. Kenith is going to be something with a big clloak, Sean, he's going to be a mage, the costume for him looks so nice. I've been so tired during school, that I didn't even think about the past! That's good, because I think ALOT and about what used to be. But right now, I'm happy. Really happy. I could see old friends, get candy, and act like a fool, nothing could be better! I'm also listening to my Greenday CD too. I like lal the songs on this one, 'international Superhits' Good songs on it. Man, I'm so happy. Well, I'm on the clock, so bye! Try to be as happy as I am, in other words, eat ALOT of sugar or something and then that should be right. ^_~

"Where there's a truth,
You know I'll be there,
Amongst the lines,
You know I'll be there,
I'll go anywhere,
So I'll see you there.

If you should fall, you know I'll be there,
To catch the call, you know I'll be there,
I'll go anywhere, So I'll see you there."

"Your time has come."

2005-10-30T12:54:00.000-08:00

"One fell asleep in the street and he never woke up,
One died in pieces in his bed with his head ull of gold,
One who threatened me long ago I saw him,
Melt in the light of day,
One laid to rest in a field under starlings and crows.

I've been wandering sideways,
I've stared straight into the sun,
Still I don't know why you are dying,
Long before your time has come.."

Maybe not the cheeriest of songs, but it's Audioslave again. the past to days have been, in simple terms, horrible. After leaving church yesterday, my brother's and I had an argument about the littlest one trying to bite and flick one of my friends and my uncle said if we've been messing around we might as well not go. There's been tension with my aunt, and an hour ago, I founf out water was leaking into my closet. The water ruined alot of things that meant alot to me. A book from my mother, two-thirds of my pokemon cards(They mean alot because I have had them for so long..) A few backbacks and other junk. My uncle even gives the nice comment the mold and such could've killed me. Whatever. _-_ Hasn't been a weekend working out for me, to lessen my mood, I have to go to school tomorrow. Oh, and my mother wants to go with us for Halloween. Well, chow.

"I've been wandering sideways,
I've stared straight into the sun,
Still I don't know why you are dying,
Long before your time has come,
I've been wandering sideways,
I've stared straight into the sun,
Still I don't know why you are dying,
Long before your time has come,
Long before your time has come,
Long before your time has come,
Your time has come."

"Concrete girl"

2005-10-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

"Bleeding thoughts,
Cracking boulder,
Don't fall over,
Fake your laughter,
Burn the tear,
Sing it louder.
Twist and shout.

Way up here,
We stand on shoulders,
Growing colder,
Laugh or cry,
I won't mind,
Sings it louder,
Twist and shout.."

It's another one from Switchfoot. I don't know, I'm feeling down since holidays are passing. I know I should be happy, I am, sort of. It just makes me think. Like this is the first Halloween of four before I can live with one of my friends - And it took just this long for this single holiday. The first Halloween that I will have without my mother. The first Halloween living with my uncle. The first Halloween I'm something other than a witch. The first Halloween in my new school. The first Halloween.. Alone. There's people around me, yes, but I couldn't possibly feel any further away. No one understands, they know something's wrong, but not what. I stood next to a pole at lunch time, which is after my third period of class. My back was resting to it and I watched my friends go off to see someone's costume. Then my attention shifts to the people walking by, some in costumes, some not. But in my mind, I can perfectly picture every holiday going by like this. Like standing in the same place, for seasons when you've only seen it through one. I'm starting up something else too, I'm having rather harsh arguments with my youngest brother. I feel like crap afterwards, but to the thanks of my mother, I can't bring myself to apologize. I'll yell at him some, and win the argument, which makes it much harder. My temper is flaring at spontaneous times, as well as an overwhelming sadness of sorts. I just feel alone, I guess. But that's the worst I can feel. Anger and any other emotion holds tight bonds to me, but I feel alone, caged..

You are bound by chains...
of misunderstood love
You are but a trapped bird...a pet of one that has yet to understand you need to be free

That's no song, simply part of a conversation I've had. But it reflects pretty much how much I currently feel. I mean I really feel bound, I want to go one way when I simply can't. Bound in place. Caged. I feel lost in a path that was once as clear as the day is long. Now it's dwindled and I've lost my way. With my slight sadness, I bid you farewell.

"Don't stop thinking,
Don't stop feeling.

One step away,
From where we were,
And one step back,
To nothing,
And we're standing on top,
Of our hopes and fears,
And we're fighting,
For words,
Now concrete girl,
And we're swimming,
Around, again, again,
And now we're swimming,
Around, again, again,
Around now,
Concrete girl."

"I dare you to move"

2005-10-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

"Welcome to the planet,
Welcoem to existance,
Everyone's here,
Everybody's watching you now.
What happens next?

I dare you to move,
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor,
I dare you to move,
Like today never happened,
Today never happened before..."

This one's from a Christian band, I believe, well, it's from Switchfoot. Really good song, actually. Not much had happened, I've been extremely tired lately, well for today. Oh, and last night, I went to Fall Festival in a lon, red velvet dress with black stuff on it. I didn't even know what I was s'posed to be, well, I chose to be the "Damsel in Distress" when we were leaving. ^^ But today's a short post, I'm afraid. Be well, you guys! ^_^

"Welcome to the fallout,
Welcome to resistance,
The tension is here,
Between who you are and who you could be,
Between how it is and how it should be.

Maybe redemption has stories to tell,
Maybe forgiveness is right where you tell.
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gunna go?
Where you gunna go?
Slavation is here."

"Yesterday to Tomorrow"

2005-10-26T14:53:00.000-07:00

"Beauty is what the eyes behold,
And you burn brighter than most,
I chased you through the midnight streets,
To be where I could speak freely.

I didn't care what tomorrow held,
I felt the world turning only for us,
Only bliss now for you and me,
No regrets and no remorse..."

Audioslave. I got a new CD, it's Audioslave, by the way, well, two. Same band. I have a particular liking to the songs, don't know why. They have more of a harder kind of rock than I particularly like. Sort of.. For the heck of it, I'll tell about two things, my friend Sammi, and how the dance with. I'm starting of with Sam, she holds ALOT in common with me. When that is speaking of situations with mothers. I have my own, she has hers. But it's like this. I haven't known anyone who can give the SLIGHTEST sense of reassurance that they knew how I felt about things. You know? Eh, maybe like how I act and such, extraordinarily happy, that's because of the lifestyle I had. She took me to the dance, right? Well, she brought another friend too, Kristen. We went and watched the place fill up. I have pictures of what I was wearing, but I don't know where they are, or what I did with them, so yeah. But I got asked to dance by one guy, I said no, since little Solin can't dance worth beans, and Rap was what they played. I don't like Rap. Another boy asked me out, I denied him too, although I'm almost guilty. Since it took ALOT for him to actually come to ask me. He's very shy, and I don't think that he will have enough courage for the next person he wants to ask. But yeah, after that, we were mainly bored and didn't have anything to do. But the strawberries with chocolate were fabulous. ^^ Vale. (Wah-Leh) Mean Bye! (In Latin)

"We have more than anything,
More than man or machine,
More than luck,
More than fiction,
Higher than any religion.

And unlike times before,
From yesterday comes tomorrow,
When life comes alive the past moves aside,
No regrets and no remorse.."

"Right here"

2005-10-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

"I know I've been mistaken,
but just give me a break and see the changes that I've made.
I've got some imperfections,
But how can you collect them all And throw them in my face?

[Chorus]
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting"

The song's from Staind. Got it from a friend of mine, she has alot in common with me, it's funny.. Not how, but the fact that I have someone who knows some of what I feel.. But that's for another time. Sorry about not replying as soon as I could, Ryan. ^^; Well, here's my posts for the tagging.

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. To have my name known.
2. To watch my brother's be as big as I know they can be.
3. To move to Kansas for College.
4. To finish a novel or two.
5. To make a band.
6. To see the world through someone else's eyes.
7. To figure out why people cause themselves pain.

7 things I can do:

1. Write.
2. Draw. (Sort of well)
3. Sort out any problem.
4. Think. (For long periods of time.)
5. Be happy.
6. Win an argument. (When I know or think I'm right.)
7. Smile all the time.

7 things I cannot do:

1. Intentionally hurt someone. (Emotionally.)
2. Stand watchign anyone being hurt.
3. Bring myself to actually physically hit someone with the intention to do harm.
4. Bring myself to forget my mother.
5. Do nothing with my life.
6. Stay in Houston too long.
7. Live with a dog.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Eyes.
2. Jawline structure.
3. Humor.
4. Sarcasm.
5. Smile.
6. Sincerity.
7. State of mind.

7 things that attract me to the same sex:

1. Eyes.
2. Display of emotions.
3. Humor.
4. Smile.
5. Figure.
6. State of mind.
7. Loyalty.

7 things I say most often:

1. "Kinda, sorta, not really"
2. "Nah, you think?"
3. "Shut up!"
4. "You two, stop it!"
5. "Jeebus!"
6. "Knucklehead"
7. "You scared the daylights out of me!"

7 celebrity crushes I am not ashamed of:

Okay, I'd do this one, but dear Solin happens to.. Eh, not know the names of ANY celebrities. She doesn't watch nearly enough Television.

7 people to tag:

I can't do the tagging part either, I don't know enough people.

"I've made a commitment, I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me?
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way...

But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

[Chorus - Altered]
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away, would you be right here waiting?"

"Be yourself"

2005-10-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

"Someone finds salvation in everyone,
And another only pain,
Someone tries to hide himself,
Down inside himself he prays,
Someone swears his true love,
Untill the end of time.
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?

To be yourself is all that you can do,
To be yourself is all that you can do.."

Audioslave. Oh, and I had everything nicely done but the bloody computer made me loose my WHOLE post. _-_ I'll have to do the Tagging tomorrow, I'm out of time now. I'll give a better post tomorrow, ciao!

"And even when you've paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up,
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck don't lose any sleep tonight,
I'm sure everything will end up alright,

You may win or lose,

But to be yourself is all that you can do,
To be yourself is all that you can do.."

"Walking Contradiction"

2005-10-20T14:45:00.000-07:00

"Talk is cheap and lies are expensive,
My wallet's fat and so is my head.."

Yeah, don't we all think that at times we have all the chances in the world? Oh, and it's Greenday. Yeah, like on the tests I have, I'll look at the questions and think a few moments, then look back to the ones I found easy and actually come to contradict myself. I think it's sort of funny, becaus eI'm like, It's this one, I know it. But wait, it could be.. Or no, it's.. I'm sorry, just sort of funny for me. But yeah, I actually fished for a song with contradiction in the name, I like the word too, y'know? Just one of those words you like to hear, or say. Oh, and the Homecoming dance is Saturday, I've got to find out what time it starts, and after that who's my ride. I'm going with my friend Sam. She said she'll give me a ride. Sam is a girl by the way, Samantha, Sam's short for that. Although, we call her Sammi Ammi Antha. Got to love those toungue twiters. ^_~ Well, I'm out.

"Standards set and broken all the time,
Control the choas behind a gun,
Call it as I see it even if,
I was born deaf, blind and dumb.."

Tagged by the good ol' Ryan.

....living in Deer Park

Rules:1) Go into your archives. 2) Find your 23rd post. 3) Find the fifth sentence (or closest to it.) 4) Post the text of your sentence in your blog along with these rules. 5) Tag five other people.I tag Miroka, Shiro, Lady Lark.. And well, I don't have enough peopl I know. Kind of sad, but those're who I tag.

"Photograph"

2005-10-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

"Look at this photograph,
Everytime it even makes me laugh.
My eyes get so red..."

Incubus, yet again. A particular liking for my brother's and me. When we were at our mother's house, I had a big radio, had some pretty bid speakers and could play a whole three CD's. We only had two. One of them was an N'Sync CD while the other was untitled and had all these burned songs on them. Turns out they were all Incubus. We listened to them day in, and day out. I can recognise ANY of them now. Man, I knew the words too, I know the majority of the words of them now, but not as well as I did then. The radio was an awesome source of entertainment, much better than the Tv that had about four fuzzy channels. We watched Tv all the time before getting that radio. Heh, there's a point in the soung, I think it goes like this,

"We used to listen to the radio,
And sing allong to all the songs we know."

Not sure if it is the correct way, but that's kind of funny. ^^; I wasn't even thinking about that part. But yeah, I loved that radio, but of course, when my mother was out of money, she 'lent' it. Just like she did t the working Tv, and my bike. As well everything else that we had that was worth anything. But, I'm not ary or anything right now. So that's good. Although, I do happen to remember the fact we could never tell her when we had money, otherwise she would take it. We saved, all together, about 20 bucks before. We were happy, for us, that was ALOT. We didn't really have any source of income. But of course, she found it, and 'asked' for it. We ended up giving it to her, oh well. But the radio was indeed very important to us then. A great way to keep our thoughts from some stuff. Toodles! (And no mum, your dearest Solin is not going preppy. ^_~ Love ya mum!)

"It's time to say it,
Time to say it,
Goodbye, Goodbye.."

Top 20 most important songs.

2005-10-18T14:42:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, I', going to list the tope 20 most important songs. As in the ones that effect me and have held their part in becoming important. Oh, and they aren't in any specific order. Here they go:

Nice to know you, Incubus
Wish you were here, Incubus
Are you in? Incubus
Pardon me, Incubus
Poprocks & Coke, Greenday
Good riddance, Greenday
When I come around, Greenday
Blv of broken dreams, Greenday
I dare you to move, Switchfoot
Poparazzi, Switchfoot
Angry american(Courtasy of the Red White and Blue), Toby Keith
Come together, The Beatles
Dragostea Din Tei(Nu ma song.), O-Zone
Shiny happy people, R.EM.
Paint it black, Rolling Stones
Photograph, Nickleback
For all the wronge reasons, Nickleback
If everyone cared, Nickleback
Savin me, Nickleback
Another brick in the wall, Korn

There we go, the songs that effect the one and only, Solin. a little country, romanian, and my favorite, alternative rock. (Or any rock, basically) Well, toodles.

Greenday, 'Good Riddance'

2005-10-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, I decided, I'll post a song name, or the line that happens to cross my mind, that seems to get me going on thoughts well enough. Well, I happen to have chosen 'Good Riddance.' I know all the words, I'll choose a verse I like the most of of them all, since once had already come to my mind. It's the last verse..

"So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health
And good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while
I hope you had the time of your life."

Absolute favorite song from Greenday. Also helps one to think of better things, when one is down. I even did this video thing for it, with anime pictures. I'd put it up, if I had the slightest idea how to. Lol. I may know alot, or be fast to learn, but I have to have someone who knows whatever it is, to teach me. It's easier to learn from others, rather than to try on your own. Although, there are times when it is up to you to do things.

"It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life."

Daph, or mum, moved from Houston, to Kansas. Yeah, her daughter, or my 'little sister' didn't take to it too well. She was struck with sadness, actually, and slipped in and out of depression. But of course, with her I just look back. Heh. Like everytime in class, I would sit at her side and peer over her shoulder, watching her as she drew. Giving my comments when I wanted too, and sometimes messing with her. Of course, it was all in good fun. In the name of fun, I say! ^_^ There's also what we did in the hallways. We would rest our shoulders against each other an d push as hard as we could, one always strongr than the other at times. We zig-zagged through the hallway. On e time I stepped away when her full weight was against me and she fell flat against her back, but she had a good landing, didn't get hurt. She could barely get up, as hard as she was laughing, I couldnt help her, due to my own laughter. But in the good name of carma, what goes around comes around, I got my piece. She did the same to me in the hallway, so we were made even. Lol. How can I not mention the time about the box. There's this pencil box that she had, it was a light shade of green, and held things she liked in it, mainly good pens, pencils and erasers. This one boy, his name left me but he started to mess with her box, looking for a pencil, I believe. XD She was there in two seconds, the seriousness to her face enough to make me break into an uncontrolable laughter. When she came back, she did the same, giggling and laughing the class period away. Oh, and of course there's lunch. We werre the wierd kids, sitting at table 1, laughing a storm, making all kinds of noises. I sat next to her, next to he was Evi, infront of Evi was Tanya, next to Tanya was Rebecca, next to Rebecca was that girl. Can't even remember her name. But Evi always did random things like burb VERY loudly, and tell the oddest jokes. Oh! And Rebecca, when she first came she was sitting in my spot, the others kept on saying, "You better get out of her spot, she'lll get you, she'll push you off." Well, in the name of fun, that's just what I did! I pushed her straight of of the spot, but, she came back and pushed me in return, the whole table of my friends went, gasp, "She pushed back!"

Oh, good times. To think, it was only last year. Makes you notice the true gifts of time, eh? Well, thihs is my day's worth of ranting. May you all be able to think back on those good ol' times. ^_~

"Pardon Me."

2005-10-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

"Pardon me, as I burst into flames.
Pardon me, Pardon me.."

Incubus. The song has been stuck in my head for a few weeks. Well, the one line I know. I need to get the CD for it.. That would be great. And I have noticed the lack of comments I've been recieving. Oh well. Back to the song. It's one of any the was on a burned CD my friend lent me. Lovely, great songs that kept my brothers and me from paying much attention to the trouble we were in at my mother's house. Although she always said we had the radio too loud. But isn't that better than listening to my mother yelling, crying or doing 'things' with the people she always invited into the house? I think so. The people learned to leave me alone. 'Oh, she doesn't like me. She doesn't like anybody, does she?' What do they know? They are druggies with a great source of issues. Of course Im not going to like them. My mother lending all our stuff out for money that she either used for food for her, or even the bloody drugs. Nah, the children don't need anythign, do they? They'll just blink and they'll be fed! Yeah, nice job mom. 'I'm only trying to help you!' Yeah, great job at that. 'You b-----' What goes around comes around, eh mom? 'It'll be back, in a few days' Yeah, right. 'In a little while' More like never. 'I said, come here!' I shouldn't have, really. 'Can I borrow... I'll pay you back.' Ha! Where's the money then? 'Just a little bit.' More like it all. 'You should listen to me!' Yeah, then I'd end up like you. 'The children, please, stay for the children, they need you..' Yeah, we needed him mom, but guess who drove him off? 'Come on, we'll be able to eat.' Yeah, but it wasn't right. 'He's different.' No, he wasn't. 'It was only passion, a mistake.' Yeah, that caused him to beat you, mom. 'He's not hitting me anymore.' Now, isn't that swell? 'In just a little while, we'll be together again..' Yeah, like that's goin to happen. 'I'm going to the hospital tomorrow.' Now, are you? 'I couldn't go.. The hurricane..' Yeah. 'Has Sean been crying?' No mom, I have been. 'You watch after him, okay?' Yeah, I always have been. 'You don't hold anything against me?' I told you no, when I meant to say yes. 'You don't hate me?' I can't answer that. 'You wont tell anyone?' I never did, should have. Your voice saying, 'You b---- echos in my mind. Not like I can excape that. HA! I actually trusted you mom! Everytime you said things'll get better! Every bloody time! I fed on your lies, you want to know why, mom? There was a strand, a single strand of burning hope that I had in you. EVERY FREAKING TIME. Try to tell me one that you actually told the truth? One time what you said would happen, did happen? There are none. Your god for saken lies rolled on. What bothers me, is that I TRUSTED you, I BELIEVED in you. Soo gullible. A fate I wanted to excape. Guess it didn't work? I am not as I should be. You ruined my life. Splendid. All I can do is sit, and watch with smiles as I see myself tumple into darkened pits. I have something to say, thanks mom. For not being there for me, for not caring, for never showing true warmth. For abandoning us. Thanks alot. Surely means a freaking lot.

'Pardon me, as I burst into flames.
Pardon me, pardon me.."

'I'll never be the same,
Never be the same, Noo..'

Friday is here!

2005-10-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

Man, I've been pumped all day. I want to do something every Friday, (To give me a reason to post) and I can't think of anything. Honestly, it's kinda hard. I don't have a camara. So that cuts out pictures. With no pictures, I'm dead swept, nothing in my noggin'. Other than that, I'm slowly dieing away, waiting for my guitar. Now this is a short post that I made to be able to tell myself I actually posted. Toodles.

Whatever has Solin been up to..

2005-10-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

Well, Solin has been actually working on writing, yes. Not doing homework, for she doesn't remember it. But she happens to be trying to write a novel, yes. By next year, at that. Wonder if I can. My mother told me I had enough skill long ago. It's about time to put her words to the test, don't you think? Solin has been in this shadow of saddness and lack of energy too long! Too long I tell you! Let's have Solin awaken from the darkness of her problems, and awaken to a new world! A new world where she comtrols all, where she can make things go as planned. Where nothing can go wronge! Into the world of writing! She's reawakened! And she's about to make a bang.

Friday.

2005-10-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's Friday. The day we are supposed to be happy and sit back and relax. But of course, Solin's still deathly homesick. Still, she got some of it cured. We went to the park or our old elementary school. SO I want to reflect upon what I remember.

We used to play this game I don't even remember with the thing that was next to the jungle gym. It lasted all of recess, and continued the next day. I think it had something to do with three magic wielders. There was also this time, it was Valentines Day and I ended up finding out that this one boy liked me. He actually persisted many recesses in trying to have himself of his little friends catch me to try and kiss me. Yes, they had to catch me, because I ran, and back then I was a pretty fast runner. Fatser than I am now, anyways. At one point he actually managed to have me caught by two or three of his friend - I knew I was in for it. Well, until one of my friends comes lunging in, breaking the hold the boys had on me, and we ran afterwards, not being caught once again. I also remember an incident that happened when I was with a friend visiting the school's park. We had our bikes there and these two boys kept coming by. It seemed they we all like friends or something until we raced the track and beat them, on bikes. We must have said something wronge, because on the bikes I got chased down and spit on. But, to better new, I am done looking back. My rambling will stop about now.

Hey.

2005-10-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

Now, let's all talk to Solin. "Are you alright? What's wronge, you seem a little down? You're quiet today, something wronge?" No, Solin's alright, just Terribly, and Horribly home sick. Away from all my friends, one of them quite a bit depressed. HAven't heard from my mother since the incident about her calling for my little brother. Things are rough for me. Why can't I just relive my 8th grade year? I was happy. I was having fun. My little sister was too. Now look, I'm miserable, she's about the same. And I just want it all back. The only uplifting things I had were torn from my grasp. I wasn't even upset when I started to type, but now look at me. I'm a bit upset and still longing for the companionship I had before. The quotes from above are what few friends I've made have been asking me for the past few days. Watever, I'm just feeling closed off, no biggy. I'll just go and sit off somewhere waiting for the summer. That sounds great. I'll be waiting for christmas break as well, least I'll be able to see my little sister again. That's all for now.

Thoughts.

2005-10-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've been wanting a guitar FOREVER, and I'm getting one for Christmas. Can't wait, honestly. And I've been pondering on the idea of writing songs and trying to form a little 'band' with good friends. Including my younger brother(By a year) and my dearest little sister. I think she's learning guitar, my brother wants to learn the bass, and if a drummer's needed, we'll fall back to someone. Lol. Now this is just something I have been thinking about, sort of wanting to do as well. Oh, and let me get something straight. If I do manage to develop a band of sorts, who cares about any kind of money? I mean, it'll just be for the heck of it, things all of us do to our best potential. I love music enough as it is and due to the loss of Orchestra, I haven't been able to play any myself, save for my keyboard. But I can't even play the piano. So that's almost a waste. I just want the guitar, then I will be set. ^^

Oh, and I am not good at saying little things to deprive my brother's from their names, alright? I will say the names so I don't get confused, I mean really. If you are going to view my blog and be cruel to the names of my brother's, you got to be in a sad state, and I will most definitely stand up for them. No matter what, or who I would be against. But in the case of close friends I will not give out names, such as my little sister and her brothers. They have nicknames for me to use. But that's just something I wanted settled as well.

Oh, and it's an everyday Tuesday, but it's more like a Wednesday, since there's no school on Friday. So that throws me a bit off. I took a Biology test too, think it killed me though. Ngh. Should have studied. Thought I knew the stuff. But oh well, let's hope I made the grade! As for Algebra I have a test on Thursday, it's over the easiest stuff out there, so I'm alright. I don't know if I have anything in English.. Or Geography.. Whatever, that's what I have, or don't have. Lol.

On the 17th of December, I have the major Birthday party for Kenith and me. Can't wait at all. As many people as we know can come, and we want to think up a theme for it too. Lol. Probably will make our friends run away if we do. But hey, I've rambled quite a bit much today, tootles! ^^

It's Monday.

2005-10-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, like all the other Monday's out there. Can't liv with 'em and live without 'em. My two brother's and I finally got paid for walking the dog! ^^ They are actually crisp five dolar bills. Haven't been folded once! I have half a mind to save the buck forever, since they never come like this, y'know? Turns out I have a four day weekend, why? I have no idea. Lol. Probably should find out. I have homework that I'm wondering whether or not to do. ^_~ Of course, I might end up doing it none the less. Well, not much to say on a Monday - Nothing's happened. As simple as that, really. Well, it's short n' sweet, seeya around! ^^

Saturday.

2005-10-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I went to church and as usual, I have a verse stuck in my head, here it is:

Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever

There it goes, the one verse that's going about my head, the rest of the song forgotten right now, but hey, I'll hear them again soon enough. Switchfoot is having a concert fairly soon, don't remember when. I bring three friend at once to church, then I get free tickets. Not sure about whether or not I want to go though. I mean, yeah, I love the band and all, but I just don't know. Oh, and as a personal note, a friend of mine's birthday is the 30 of this month, need to get a present.

I am still missing my mother, been too long since I've seen her.. Just... I don't know. But I found out on the way home that she called.. Basically in a panic, 'Is Sean all right?' My aunt had picked it up.. The fact she would be worried about him bothers me. He's here, is there a threat? I don't know, I'll just be a little over cautious now.. Well, I'm done for my day's worth of rambling on. Have a great day/night. ^^

New topic, Hummingbirds.

2005-09-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

My aunt waits every year to see the small, light weighted, Hummingbirds! ^^ They always come and nearly chop off my uncles head, but hey, they're cute enough. Lol. Okay, there's one trapped in the garage, I would let it out, I just can't find the ladder, if I had the ladder, it'd be free. But nooo... -.- Found the ladder, it's behind me. Lol. I can't take it downstairs though, I'd fall to my death. I know some people might not like that, so, I'll wait. It's Thurday! That means tomorrow's Friday, I like fridays! ^_^ Okay, before I get on a weird posting rampage, I'll go.

Until next! ^^

From one thing to the next.

2005-09-28T14:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I started school again. The lights were either flickering or out in some places. For the morning there was no airconditioning. People, this is HOUSTON, HOUSTON, TEXAS. It gets hot. They managed to start up the air conditioners at about 10 minutes before they would let us out for not having the air conditioning. It didn't even kick in until my last class of the day. Such a bright idea to wear this sweater/Shirt today. My mistake. I will NEVER do it again. I knew pink was an accursedcolor! Yeah my uncle managed to make me wear pink, figures. He said it's my 'color' too. This preppy girl told me it wasn't my color, I should go for blue, no green. And I happened to be wearing dark red pants that are almost black. {The same pants that I had an accident with, causing quite a few things to turn pink.} But there it goes, my 'lovely' day.

Okay, this is almost a confession.

2005-09-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

I've always been bad with calculating time, so I don't really know how long it has been.. In the middle of 8th I was, yes, taken form my mother. We argued a great amount, having her dub me the bad word for female dog when she got angry. And I can still here her screaming at me, calling me that. I was relieved, I couldn't believe I was finally free! It's been almost a year since I've seen her. I never cry, not since the argueing stopped. I used to leave in anger, and yes, cry. Two nights ago, I was trying to sleep and couldn't, I missed my mother so bloody much a was in tears and couldn't breath for about 30 minutes. Yes, I do miss her. We left my father when I was two, making it so I cannot full understand the concept of having the father figure, also not being able to call anyone else anything related to a father. I was left with my moher for a very long time, yes, she was influenced well with drugs, consisting of weed, and she drank too. So here was the beginning of sparks of anger for me. Yes we fought, I would dead miserable... But I miss her. I would gladly give this peace I tend to have now, to be with my mother again, and by all means, I do mean this..

Dogs.

2005-09-26T15:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, I haven't postre, because I couldn't think of what to post, simply that, but I have something to say. I HATE MY AUNT'S DOG. It is an obese chiwawa that actually vomited in my lap. We were just about home and she decided, hey Solin's holding me, so Blleeeh. -.-;; Horible experience under my belt now. I could live a happy life without that one. Well, that's my rambling for the day. And a note: Don't get a dog.

Before the storm.

2005-09-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe I wasn't able to get online when I wanted to, but now. It's so weird, no birds a chirping, they all left. It's just really quiet, you can tell it's coming. And to make my mum feel better, I have this niftly little fact. The hurricane is moving in a clockwise direction, and it is moving at about ten miles an hour. For Louisiana, it gets hit harder, due to the clockwise direction, the winds get ten more miles per hour attached to them, while here in Texas, we get the ten subtracted, get hit less strongly. Now, the worst that's bound to come is the rain(That hasn't started) and the winds, they will only be about 70 mph. See? Not too bad. If I don't post again for a few days - The power went out, but I will give you my fill on it when the power comes back on. Onward! To the storm we go!

Blast the refresh.

2005-09-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

I had a nice long post about the hurricane coming towards me, in Houston, Texas. But, of course, it messed up. But, I can tell of some effects. The hurricane is worrying my 'family friends' to death, this one we call little Cindy was crying a little while ago because they might not have a place to go. No place to go, Ashton is trying to watch after her, he just left here to do so. Honestly.. A hurricane is NOT what we need. I have no school for the rest of the week, so I will post an update on what's going on, seeya.

Biology.

2005-09-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

I went to a friend's house, I think his name was Kyle, there was another girl and two othr boys. We were working on the biology project we have, Mr. Smith likes to have us teach the class, rather than him. But hey, I'm not complaining, what's hard to learn about the Biome Tundra? Well, one person didn't make it to Kyle's house, while another, Tarek, was late, he didn't even do anything anyway. Rebecca cam with me, and Alex came a little after we got started. We basically started the food chains, the food wed, the two graphs, notes on the graph, and we planned it out. For the food chains and web, we are using the pictures of the animals, it looks pretty nifty, although it also looks like we didn't do too much, when in truth, we did. Well, tomorrow we finish it, at Kyle's again, I go there, what, Seven pm? Now, for my raving of the day to end. ^_^ Oh, and before I forget, Love you lots mum.

Alright.

2005-09-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

I have an unsettling B in Algebra I a B in Biology, and I failed Geography so I am placed in Academic. They are two units behind me! It sucks! I liked Pre-Ap ALOT more. -.-; I wonder.. If I pass that class with a HIGH A, if they will place me back into Pre-Ap? If not, I have to wait until 10th grade - I do NOT want to wait. Oh, and I really need t remember to take my gym clothes home. The weekend went well, I got to give my uncle a surprise party, my aunt's was much better, I might add. Other than that, I played video games, and slept. As I said before, I couldn't get on for the weekend, so yeah. for now, my ranting shall come to a close. ^_~

Birthday surprise, and no weekend internet.

2005-09-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend I will not be able to blog, I know, you will all miss me. Maybe you wont, Daph'll be having a wonderful weekend with that my little sister while I play the role given to me as to be in a surprise party for a certain uncle of mine. He thinks he is going to a resturant with my aunt and his friend, she will act like she needs to take he car while he takes his, his friend will take my two brothers and me to the resturant. What a surprise this will be for him. ^_^ Can';t wait, really. He gave my aunt a surprise birthday this year, now she's doing it in return! Marriages are so much fun to watch, one spites the other playfully while the other gets revenge. ^_^ I make it sound awful, I know, but hey, people have their views and opinions, and I fully respect that. So I will be off, until Monday! ^_^

Sparks.

2005-09-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

We all know the devastation Katrina gave, right? As for those who do not, not only do you need to watch the news, but you need to know. Well, New Orleans was drowned, basically. This may sound, disgusting, but it did spark a sense of my stubbornness. It starts like this. The lake broke what was holding it back, so is basically made a lake of New Orleans. The water was fresh water, so it sits there and stagnates(Not sure if right would) and all other disgusting things deteriorate within in, flesh, petroleum, the other materials made from what was held into the city. Now, there is only one place to put this water that has been, for lack of better words, corrupted. They are pumping it back into the lake it came from. This lake was the lake New Orleans got it's own supply of fresh water from, it was also an ideal place to swim, and fish. New Orleans will not have those same qualities when it is back and running. They also have a way to purify the water, and this is what sparks at me the most. They could, run a small amount of this corrupted water down the big river next to it, the Mississippi river. Okay, everyone who has lived in Texas has at least seen Galveston, the water is, actually, VERY clean. The Mississippi river runs into it, making the currents go to Galveston and makes it look dirty. If this corrupted water goes to Galveston, it would 'corrupt' that water as well. My Biology teacher told us this, and he said that was what they were most likely to do. Someone asked if they knew that Galveston would be effected, he said eventually. Eventually. Will eventually keep this water clean? Will eventually help those in New Orleans? That was like a big, flashing red button for me. _-_ Doesn't this effect any of you?

The unofficial, official tagging.

2005-09-14T14:42:00.000-07:00

I am doing this because I have had it on my mind. Tagging can be fun, anyways. ^^

10 years ago I was:

....4
....living in Deer Park
....living a happy and innocent life with my mom
....in a group of four friends

5 years ago I was:

....9
....new to Houston
....living with my mother
....the 'outsider' during my awake hours

1 year ago I was:

...13
....having the best year of my life in middle school
....surrounded by my closest friends
....being moved to my uncle's with my brothers

Yesterday I was:

....scampering from class to class
....pondering upon answers to this tagging
....wondering on the true definition of home
....deciding it was time to write again

5 snacks I enjoy the most:

Reeses
Any chocolate
Noodle cups
Hot pockets
Tacos

5 songs I know all the words to:

Good Riddance, Greenday.
Nice to know you, Incubus.
Wish you were here, Incubus.
Are you in? Incubus
Poprocks & Coke, Greenday.

5 ideal places for running away to:

My home away from home. (Daph's place.)
Resevore, The attics.. (Different names, same place.)
A desolate forested area.
My room.
The Jefferey's. (Family friends.)

5 items you will never see me wear:

A white skirt.
A short skirt.
Any food product.
Powdered fish scales and who knows what. (Make-up.)
An animal suit.

5 biggest joys in my life:

The strength(Spiritually) of my two, annoying, brothers.
My dear little sister smiling.
My alternative rock music. (Always calms me.)
My writings
My mother's paintings.

My 3 favorite toys:

Electric keyboard. (Soon to be replaced with an acoustic guitar.)
Computer.
Ps2

See I did it, I may not be that old, but I could go ten years. Yeah. ^_~ Have fun ya'll.

Timeless tales.

2005-09-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

You ever notice that if you tell someone a story, they repeat it, but by the time it comes back your way, it has changed so much. It's actually a really funny thought. Makes me think of Elementary school when they got you to sit in a circle, one person whispered a word to the next until it came back around. I'll tell you, ever single time, the word was changed from it's original state. Now, with this innocent bit of information, I'll have ye think a little deeper. If this is so, then when teachers, people, and anything or body else recites something by memory and try to have someone learn it, wouldn't it be altered? You know, like altering the real thing into something else? I think it is some pretty good food for thought. ^_^

Writing, my favorite.

2005-09-12T14:35:00.000-07:00

You know, I like to rite, I've been having major cravings to do just that, yet the time I actually have online is getting smaller, and smaller. Oh, what I would give to have enough time. I have characters, too, the wierd twisted things that have been coming up are driving me crazy. But nooo, Solin Can't get on, the computer is for work, and homework. -.-; Perhaps this little time will get rid of some of the cravings? Nah, doubt it. Been forever since my little sister has been able to roleplay with me. I should get her for that too. I should also add to the writing area I have here, having wrote anything down, for it isn't what I have been told this 'poetry' I write, I want to roleplay, flat out roleplay. Cravings strike at night too, they keep me up a while. Heh. Well, better stop the ranting better I bore myself, Ciao!

Out of place, and a little off.

2005-09-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, I moved from my mom's to my uncle's and Daph is my second home, but where's the first one? I don't exactly have the capability to truly call soemwhere home so it has made me feel all out of place, and home-sick of the home I cannot locate. So that has made me feel off, like off-balanced, off in my studies.. I am usually well-balanced and I usually have the will to do my work, but it has like... Evaporated, or something. I don't know, if I did, I wouldn't have to be posting this. If I knew what was wronge, I'd be better, but bleh. soo off, can't even write anything well...

Meh, who ever like Geography anyway?

2005-09-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

I have, or had an F in my Geography class, so naturally, I ask for extra credit, she says she doesn't give it through neomail, so that way it sucks. Oh, and I have been a little off, on everything, from my balance to my classes. Odd. But, see, I nevr quite liked ANY geography.. History... I afiled history one year, wasn't good, the teache constantly called my uncle about my grades, it annoyed him so much. My brother even got that teacher, he failed her class too, she called, it was funny to watch my uncle get angry from the calls. ^^ Yeap. My uncle even went to my highschool, he had to roam my classes, he was late for the first one, said the place was too complicated and left. While he did that, my aunt, brothers and me were eating at Casa Ole'. Good rice there.

My lovely weekend.

2005-09-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

I got to see the Jeferry's, alot has changed. They are like the best friends that count bac before I met my mum. About four or fiev years ago, when I first moven into the lovely place of Houston, my brother met one of them and that started the friendship, simply put. Well, they are the genius's, you know, GT classes. But yeah, one of them love to talk with me, believing as I do that my brother is just not someone to talk to. Well, we stayed up pretty late, and I was getting DROWSY he woke me up by staring at me, that's all, then groggily, we started talking until I got so paranoid that his mother would wear us out, I told him we should go to sleep. He like to talk about a story he is developing, it's pretty interesting too. Now, his younger brother was glad to see me and welcomed me with a hug. ^^ His older brother was like, 'Oh, it's you, good to see you' then goes off to play a game. They had an even older brother, but he left into college in Utah. I woke up when we were supposed to, but kept falling back asleep until they started beating me with pillows and stuff.

Well, we went home and I went to church, then played a new game, and went to sleep, being woken up to spit shine the whole house. Which, I might add WAS NOT DIRTY. I mean, wow, maybe a few droplets have gotten on the mirrors and stuff, but tht was it. I also watched half of WHite Noise. For the second time, pretty good movie, I might say. Now, for my ranting to end.

Tagged!

2005-09-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, Daphenwood actually tagged me, but as she believed, it'll take my train of thought. There for, here I go.

As for the first part, I am a little confused, but will try. ^^

7 things you may not know about Daphenwood.

1. She is the coolest mom out there.
2. She has a diet that she eats every other day.
3. She has one daughter and two sons.
4. She has a cat named Freckles! ^^An adorable kitty!
5. She is learning the guitar.
6. She happens to almost be an obsessive blogger.
7. She works, scanning things in.

7 things I have never done and may never do.

1. Ate until I vomited.
2. Wield a real gun.
3. Any sorts of drugs.
4. Left the computer when friends are online.
5. Live without a computer.
6. Lose contact with my family in Kansas.
7. And to stop writing.

7 things I did NOT do this weekend.

1. Anything requiring much movement.
2. Fight with my brothers.
3. Skateboard.
4. Write anything new.
5. Play gameboy.
6. Contact my little sister - Should have.
7. Lead an army.

7 times I was almost killed or seriously injured.

1. I was riding my bike and this smart man sharply turns the corner, and I bare dodge the guy, hit the curb go a good distance into the air and land in some grass next to my bike.
2. I was just learning how to ride a bike and a went down this ramp like area infront of my house and hit the curb, barely missing a tree before I fell off the bike.
3. I was walking with a friend around an area then out of nowhere a huge dog comes out and chases us to the closest house.
4. I was swimming in a pool with my brother and a few friends, this girl comes us and begins to try and drown me, when she was taking a floaty from my little brother, and I tried to get it back, well I am in the process of being drowned unil one of my brothers literally pulled her away from me, thus, enbling me to breath.
5. My brother and I were talking in piglatin across the kazebo and this big FAT girl comes up and tells us to stop, that she wanted to know what we were saying, well, we don't she gets ticked off and tries to run after us, we were faster, she ends up trying to throw her shoes after us before taking chase, then tries to pull a branch off of a tree, giving us a major lead. Moral is, we got away, could've gotten hurt, but didn't, but got to see the girl run after us.
6. Another scenario when my brothers and I were swiming. Well, there we were, swimming, then the same fat girl comes and actually manages to trap my brother, me, and a friend of mine in the pool area, I get my brothers free, but I come back for my friend, she was against the wall of the pool crying, so a placed both hands to the sides of the pool, standing behind her, enabling it so that if the girl was to strike, I would be striken. The fat girl actually got into the wter, cussing us out in the wretched language of slang, then eventually, I get my friend out, unscathed. We go to my house and sit in the living room before someone knocks on the door, it was the fat girl, I opened the door a little before figuring it was a bad idea and having it basically kicked open and that same fat girl give me a nice punch before running off, I had swung around, making it weaker, but I was in a slight state of shock. She couldn't punch worth anything, btter for me.
7. The last would bee.. Well, my mother had the worst choice of friends, she managed to really tick off this rather strong man who held a gudge, he basically broke in, bet up the guy she had staying over to watch us and the guy fell onto my bed whil I was sleeping, I woke instantly and moved away, muttering for him to leave, he does, mumbling something involving a few curse words, that I couldn't decipher. Basically might be able to count as near death?

7 people to tag.

Now, I know like one oher person, but I can try.. For one, I will choose Miroka, then.. Shiro, Lady Lark, ... Three more.. There's Kaps, Two left.. DarkMystic, last one... Well, can't think of one, when I do, I'll post it here.

Something I have noticed.

2005-09-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

When I really seem desperate, or something in a post, when I actually would like answers, no one does, and when it is gibberish, or something else, they do. People! You are wierd! Lol. Well, think about this, everyone is the least bit wierd, I just happen to be more than a little. ^^

My day, in a nutshell.

2005-09-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

Hey, what do you know? I was depressed a while back, well, sort of. But I am over it. ^^ School still sucks, I hapen to be failing one, I might get kicked out of Pre-ap.. But hey, why look down when I can look up? ^^ See, I am pretty much better. I had a rally today, I messed with my friends the whole time though, fell a billion times, since there were so many people, we were standing. It was pretty much fun, actually, although I have six pages of Biology homework..

Dreams.

2005-08-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

I make a friend, right? Well, he comes and both of us get 'arrested' by my friends the Jeffery's for stealing a car. Right? Well, he gets free and gets shot three times, then I am all insane by that, and he is spontaniously buried, and I wake up. Wierd. Some say that dreams are a mixture of the past and present, I believe it is the imagination on fire. Showing you what it has to offer, and then some. Yeah, odd, but I gave my point of view on the matter.

Emotions, take two.

2005-08-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

I am in a new school, yeah. A highschool, actually, and I am a freshman. Not too good, but I have made.. Well, one truly good friend, and it is funny what he said at lunch, he said that he believed I was perplexing. Big vocabulary, eh? Well, he explained further, he said he had never seen me saddened, sad, ort anything but either cheery or more cheery, after that, he said once again that I was perplexing, and of course I simply smiled. See? I am coming back to my old self, just, different in some ways.

Emotions, take one.

2005-08-14T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, every now and then you get that notice that, you have emotions! Wow, would have never guessed. I have had a conversation that sent my emotions to a spiraling odd little thing, like I am not as contently quiet as I usually am, I am either saddened, depressed, or extremely happy. Not like me, me who slips my emotions off into the abyss. Never to be seen or heard from again. Yet lately there has been some 'Fishing' done and some resurfaced. So, I get to learn once again how to hide them. Yeap. What's the point in bothering other people with them? I should stay as I usually am, either cheery, or content, no others, otherwise, how could others be able to reply on me? So, that's what I do, as pointless and odd as it sounds. I am other's strength in hard times, so forever I choose to do that. And notice it is take one, there will be more nonsense from where this came from.

Blindly innocent.

2005-08-07T02:33:00.000-07:00

You know, only the posts that have an essence of innocence is what of mine has comments. Yes the wording is off, as well spelling, but who cares? Lol, my blog, go if you don't like it. Lol. I don't mean it, allow me to reach my point. There are still people in this world that are what I call, blindly innocent. They simply hold the essence of being innocent, and they don't even know it! If our world was made with people like that, then we would be a very peaceful one, no pointless arguments. But it is as it is, yet it is always good to see people who are blindly innocent in a world racked in pain.

Words, heh...

2005-08-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

Words are alot more powerful than many can be lead to believe. Maybe that little insult than you slipped had more effect than you wanted, maybe you overencouraged someone. Or, maybe you got realy, really angry and said the worst thing in the world to someone. Words can often be sharper than knives, than any form of a blade. In your anger have you expressed yourself and got the wronge reaction that you wanted? Comepletely and utterly hurting the person you happened to be angry with? hat's the time you can't say accident happen, if only, eh? It's the time where your left alone, stunned at what you had actually said, wanting to help the person you hurt but knowing YOU were the one who caused their pain, what could you possibly do to help them? When you are the source of their pain. If you go, they are hurt, if you stay away, they are hurt. Its really funny, how if someone is physically hurt, it isn' half as effective as being emotionally hurt. In these modern days, our words are our blades, they are stronger than the blades used back then... Much stronger.

Some thoughts..

2005-07-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

There are those that stand by your side through the thick and thin. Those that you cannot help but look up to, and wish to have the best to their talents. They seem to have no downfalls, you know? They are who you believe are the strongest, the ones who cannot fall, those who are your strength. But I ask you something, why is it that you see those who you think are strong, stronger than you, why is it that they are the ones chosen to be fit for demise, why are they the ones you see shatter. You see taken to the extreme, and failing. Why are they faced against challenges, only to fail? They are the strong, they aren't supposed to fail.. Then how come they do? Why are they the ones taken down before they can spread their strength? Well, there are some things I understand, some things I don't. But never-the-less, things always happen for a reason.. Or so I have been lead to believe.

Kansas.

2005-07-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ha! Look at me, leaving to Kansas, but not posting anything. Such aloyal poster I am.. Well, I try to be. Well, 6 hours then a stop at a little hotel, then another 6 hour drive. I have noticed something. There are ALOT of cows, grass, and trees between Texas and Kansas. Also, my little sister has little mood swings.. Heh.. Little..

11 days.

2005-07-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

11 days and I get to go to Kansas! ^_^ I can't wait. It will be so much fun. I get to go to my closest friend's house, who is by my definition, my little sister. She moved some time ago, and I haven't been online much.. But yeah, can't wait. ^_^

Ha.. I take too long to get on..

2005-07-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, my last week was lacking everything good. The times everything wronge taht Can happen, Does happen. Ever have those days/weeks? Or maybe even months? Well, I got my week. My closest friend, my 'little sister' moved. But I got to help clean! We broke a vacuum and got to sweep carpets. @.@ Before that, my aunt's younger brother got a heart attack, slipped into a coma then died while I was at my friend's house.Oh, I almost forgot, my right foot got really cut up on the bottom and a stubbed my toe enough to make it get cut too, on the same foot! _-_ I get to go to a funeral tomorrow. Oh well, sometimes you just have a roughed up time. But thing'll even out.

Ha! Been a while, wanna know why?..

2005-06-22T18:39:00.000-07:00

Let's see, an anti-computer aunt. A computer freak. (Me.) Doesn't add up. She took a wire from the CPU and poof! All uses to the computer, gone. But hey, obviously I got use of it back, that is why I am posting this. But, while I was away, I got to clean day after day, and I got a friend over, other than that not much has been happening. But there you go, the oh-so-promising explanation of my absence. Enjoy. ;)

Confusion.

2005-06-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

Everything is, and will turn out to be as it should in the end. Everyone's path is different, I understand that. What's tricky is that everyone goes through the same things, just at different rates. But then again, what also comes to play would be personalities, and the different ways people react to different things, such as pain. Yes, a bad subject that hurts, but is it truly better to bottle it up until you can't hold it? To always change the subject? Or is it better to talk it out, it doesn't matter with who, but with someone who will not judge. And by talking it out, I mean having the other person comment, give advice if need be. Which is the better half? It is like a cake, one side one way, the other another. Always there is two ways and not just one. And there are others that constantly reapply themselves to pain, over and over, unable to stop themselves. Doing it to the point it is habit, what is to be done then? Even when told what is needed to be done, habit is in control and keep them from listening, pushing them further and further away.. And there are others that slip into depression with the slightest nudges and is the hardest to be lifted, pulled from it. All in all, it is confusing and twisted with frayed ends, such as life is.

I was away, now I am back!

2005-06-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, the reasons on not posting, or replying to almost anything, is..That I was at camp. Or the beach retreat, so to say, two different names, one real meaning. It was wonderful. ^_^ I got sun, a little bit too much. How was I supposed to know you had to constantly reapply the sunscreen? I found out the hard way that you could burn your arms, legs, feet, and ears. They aren't bad enough to keep me from moving, give me until tomorrow and p00f! They will be gone. I had a blast. Got to see the beach, swim in a pool, go to a water park, and get baptized... More stuff. Spf. 50 Doesn't work that well, remember that. It was awesome. ^_^ There was this girl, Sarah, who is the definition of sweet and innocent and others, but still, it was great. ^_^ I am done raving, for now, bye!

Ladders.. Another world out there.

2005-06-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

Yupp. This is how the evening started. I get taken home and of course, get online, wait a little while and the two brothers of mine are fighting, give them a little time and someone's crying. After that, my uncle comes home, kicks me offline and chews me out for not cleaning the kitchen. (Which is my brother's job.) Then after a while we go and walk down the street to the store, I get the shampoo and conditioner, my little brother gets chocolate. Have you seen what they have done to the Reeses? They are BIG. But, going on, my older, younger brother, get a necklace with Chinese or Japanese letters on it, and I get a choker. Turns out the necklace my brother got was too small for him, so I got it. ^_^ It's cool, when we get hom my uncle makes us eat and guess what? Afterwards I get a little job, I get to climb a ladder, and balance while cutting to this vine, or ivy sorts of thing. And I like continue to cut at it with scissors, the kinds teachers try to make you use, you know, the ones that don't really work on paper. So I get stuck, having had to reach a little too far, with my uncle going off saying, "Are you stuck? How are you going to get down?" Yeah, soo trying to help, but I got down, without falling, thankfully. Also, I have come to be greatfull being gifted with balance. ^_^ That's all I have for now.

Welcome.

2005-06-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yay. Look at me, here to all express myself, and be commented, there's the hard part, eh? Well, none the less, I can start, now can't I? o.o Well, here I go.
I get to be here, all happy 'n stuff with my little sister, isn't that just great? ^-^ She just sleeps, so far, plays electronics, and messes around. (As a side note, my 'little sister' is my very bestest friend. =3) She skips about from one thing to the other, all happy-like, in her own little world, don't forget tormenting me, occasionally. >.> Ah well, all's well that ends well, right? If not, they need to stop telling people that. Heh, yeah.. My mindless ranting will come to an end, for now. ^-^ Thanks for listening.